Dienstag, April 11, 2006


At the age of 18 I tried to make a suicide attempt. I rode my bicycle at a great speed. It was night and I was alone on the road. On the left side there was an abyss. I closed my eyes and drove to the left side. For a short moment I felt something like a heavy collision, like a wrench and I hurtled through the night, weightlessly having a great feeling to be freed of heartache, sorrow and problems. Then there was a second thud and I felt the cold asphalt under my body, I was returned to earth. Only now I opened my eyes, my bicycle lay ca 30 m behind me and now I acted as if in a trance. I got up, ran back to my bicycle intending to make the same again, but the felloes of the front wheel were twisted like 2 U-bends, so that I couldn't ride anymore and I had to carry my bicycle on my shoulder.
So I went home, the bicycle on my shoulders and aloft the night sky, majestically bright and spangled with stars ...
Three weeks later I got aches and pains on my neck and I couldn't turn my head to the right hand side...
I went to the hospital where I've got pain medications, anti-inflammatory drugs, muscle relaxants, and a cervical collar, but nothing could really help me. The pains and the inability to turn my head to the right persisted.
It was in the eleventh year after this self-inflicted accident when I discovered in a bookstore by chance a small book called "Yoga against backache" and suddenly I knew that I had to buy this book.
Next day I started with "Savasana Corpse Pose" and after circa 3 weeks the heavy pains on my neck vanished and I could move my body as before my accident.
This opened my eyes and my soul for the spiritual world of India and afterwards for the Indian Art too.

Buddha said:

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."


Blogger Sujay Sukumar said...

That was like a breath of fresh air!

This post makes me proud of being an Indian. Thank you for a wonderful blog.

You are quite a person you know that..art, yoga,poetry,spirituality, philosophy, science, literature...hats off!!!

6:12 PM  
Blogger castor said...

to Sujay Sukumar:
Thank you Sujay, but, sorry, I'm still not perfect in this way as I should like to be :-)!

"He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye."

It makes me happy to have met you in this life, Sujay!

10:30 PM  
Blogger Prerona said...

Hi Castor! How have you been? I was offline for a while - just got back

I loved this post of yours! what a post to come back to :)

12:40 AM  
Blogger Trudging said...

Very cool

1:17 AM  
Blogger Derek said...

I've got to get back into yoga, everything in life was better during that time.

2:49 AM  
Blogger dAAve said...

I'm very shallow.
I like the picture.

3:24 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

deep post.

4:44 AM  
Blogger Brad said...

Hans, first I have to say that I am glad you were NOT successful on your attempt! The world would be minus one beautiful soul right now if you had been.

As for the picture here....yummy. What a lovely body and is that the hint of a nice bulge I see? *grin*

8:49 AM  
Blogger castor said...

to Prerona:
Thank you, I am fine! I missed you, Prerona!

8:54 AM  
Blogger castor said...

to Trudging:
C'est la vie, Trudge!

8:59 AM  
Blogger castor said...

to Derek:
Yes, you should start it again, Derek :-)!

9:01 AM  
Blogger castor said...

to Daave:
The guy on the photo looks a little bit like me, when I was young!
But you, where did you make the rejuvenation treatment? You look so pretty young on your profile photo :-)

9:11 AM  
Blogger castor said...

to Ryan:
As you see, there is always a way!

9:13 AM  
Blogger castor said...

to Brad:
Thanks, Brad! The photo doesn't show me :-) The guy only looks a bit like me, you old voluptuary, you :-) :-)!

9:20 AM  
Blogger The Persian said...

I echo Brad's comment on how lucky we all are you were not sucessfull back then. Thank you for sharing this in any case.

"In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

That is one of the most profound quotes I have ever read.

4:35 PM  
Blogger castor said...

to Persian Guy:
Thank you, Jim! I am also glad that I am still alive, otherwise, for example, I never would have got to know all of you :-)!

Here is a link to Buddha's biography:


For me, Buddha has been a great philosopher, more than a founder of religion!

7:19 PM  
Blogger NMAMFQLMSH said...

I'm glad you didn't succeed!
Geez Castor! I love you.
I see you too,

2:40 PM  
Blogger castor said...

Thank you, JJ! :-)

5:25 PM  

Kommentar veröffentlichen

<< Home